Real People Real Talk
Relevant conversations that take you from Surviving to Thriving. Our goal is to encourage and empower you to answer God's call on your life and to be all that He has called you to be. This podcast is all about Faith, Relationships, and Mental Health. We keep it real, practical, & Christ-centered, tune in and be inspired! Host Paul Calcote New episodes every other week.
Real People Real Talk
Planning Your Joy!
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We explore why planning intentional moments of joy is essential for mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing, and how the anticipation effect can boost our happiness even before events occur.
• The "anticipation effect" shows that looking forward to something can improve our mood and wellbeing before the event even happens
• Joy isn't a luxury but a necessity that strengthens us and sustains us through difficult seasons
• Practical ways to plan joy include putting it on your calendar, creating a joy list, planning joyful milestones, and celebrating small wins
• Challenge yourself to plan one thing today that will bring you joy
Real People, Real Talk Introduction
Speaker 1Welcome and thanks for tuning in . To Real People , real Talk , relevant conversations that take you from surviving to thriving . This is the podcast that goes there . My name is Paul Calco and I'm your host . Now let's talk . Well , hello , thriver , and thank you so much for tuning in today .
Speaker 2We're really glad you're here today , because we're diving into something that's simple on the surface but has the power to transform how we experience life .
Speaker 1Today , we want to discuss something that can positively contribute to your mental and emotional health , which is planning your
Why Plan Your Joy?
Speaker 1joy .
Speaker 1Now , I know , just hearing that phrase it may sound a bit unusual , but here's how the idea , the notion of planning your joy it's the thing that we want to talk about . We're so used to planning our work schedules . We plan our meetings , we plan our errands , we plan our responsibilities , but how often do we take the time to be intentional and plan for joy ? How often do we just carve out that time that really refreshes our soul , makes us smile and fills us with anticipation ?
Speaker 2Here's the thing Joy isn't something that just happens to us .
Speaker 1Sure .
Speaker 2There are spontaneous moments of happiness that surprise us along the way , but a lot of our joy comes from what we create , what we nurture and , yes , what we plan . Here's the thing .
Speaker 1Joy isn't just due to what we nurture .
Speaker 2I figured out in post okay , but a lot of our joy comes from what we create , what we nurture and , yes , what we plan exactly so .
Speaker 1Today , we want to explore why planning your joy matters , how it impacts your mental health , your emotional health and your spiritual well-being as well , and of we're going to get it practical and give you some ways that you can make this a regular part of your life .
Speaker 2First of all , let's discuss the power of anticipation
The Power of Anticipation
Speaker 2. Did you know that simply looking forward to something can boost your mood and well-being ?
Speaker 1As a matter of fact , I did know that , in fact , psychologists call this the anticipation effect . The excitement , the joy , the positive feelings that you experience even before an event can be just as powerful as the event itself . Think about it like this Isn't half of the fun of a vacation . Take two Think about it like this Isn't half of the fun of a vacation ? The countdown leading up to it , or the excitement that you may feel the night before a special celebration ? I reckon so .
Speaker 2Hmm , there's actually research to back this up . A study published in the journal Applied Research in Quality of Life found that people are happiest when they have a vacation plan during the vacation itself , but in the weeks leading up to it . Why ? Because having something to look forward to gives us a mental boost . It's like having a bright spot on the horizon , even when the present moment feels heavy and I can testify to this my wife and I .
Speaker 1We travel here and there throughout the year , but primarily during the summer . As you may know , my wife is a teacher and the school year just ended , and so we have some things to look forward to and planning . And we're actually going to do our annual two week vacation in July . And even though this trip won't occur to a month later , at least at the time of this report , at least at the time of this recording that was take two . I am super pumped right here , right now , just anticipating it . I've actually already started packing for the trip . I'm ready man .
Speaker 1Proverbs 13 12 says um , take two . Proverbs 13 12 captures the anticipation effect quite beautifully when it says hope deferred makes the heart sick , but desire fulfilled is a tree of life . And one more thing I had to add to that before I go to eBay . Like I said , I've already started planning , already started packing , because we're going on the road trip . So I got some napkins for the car , some hand sanitizer . I already planning out the things we're going to do in each of the cities . And right now , even though that trip , once again , it's not till July , I'm experiencing some of that joy now . So once again , just want to give you a real live example of this anticipation effect .
Speaker 2Yeah , I get that , and when we have nothing to look forward to , it can feel like our hearts are weary , weighed down by routine and responsibilities . Adulting hashtag , adulting hashtag . Adulting yeah , um , but when you're looking ahead to something meaningful , no matter how small , it gives us energy , motivation and hope amen to that amen . Point number two joy is not a luxury , it's a necessity yeah , let's address this common misconception .
Joy as a Necessity, Not Luxury
Speaker 1We often treat joy like it's something extra , like it's only Take two . We often treat joy like it's something extra , like it's only for the weekends , only for vacations , only for special occasions . But that's not how we're designed to live . We were created for joy , and it's not just a fleeting . It's not how we're designed to live . We were created for joy , and it's not just a fleeting . It's not take two , it's not just a fleeting emotion it's a vital part of a healthy and thriving life amen , I mean .
Speaker 2In nehemiah 8 , 10 , we read the joy of the lord is your strength read that one more time , babe it says the joy of the lord is your strength notice the tense there .
Speaker 1It doesn't say oh no , that's not what I'm trying to say . Okay , take two . Notice that . It doesn't say the business of your schedule is your strength . It doesn't say the number of tasks that you complete is your strength . It's joy .
Speaker 2Joy is your strength , joy , joy , joy . Come on now . I mean joy strengthens us , it sustains us , it helps us endure difficult seasons , because it reminds us that even in the midst of challenges , beauty can be found . Joy isn't about ignoring life's difficulties .
Speaker 1It's about finding light in the midst of them exactly like , no matter what season you may be going through now . You can find some joy there , because joy of the lord is your strength and planning your joy . It doesn't mean that every moment of your life has to be grand or luxurious or instagram worthy . If you will , it can be as simple as a walk in the park with your favorite playlist blasting in your AirPods . It could be a cozy evening with a good book and a cup of tea .
Speaker 2It can be a candlelit bubble bath which is one of my favorites .
Speaker 1Throwing a couple of bath bombs and you got it rocking . Right there it could be eating your favorite meal .
Speaker 2Yes , seafood , it could be . Oh , I'm sorry , it could be participating in your favorite meal . Yes , seafood , it could be . Oh , I'm sorry , it could be participating in your favorite hobby .
Speaker 1And I can speak to this and I've mentioned this a couple times on the podcast , but I look forward to playing basketball every Thursday . All right , so that gives me something in the middle of the week or towards the end , but it gives me something in the week to look forward to . I also look forward to couponing on the weekend um , dollar general on Saturdays they got that five dollar off 25 and then Walgreens on Sunday . So just some simple things that I have scattered throughout the week to look forward to , thus planning my joy . And it has been a positive um . It has really positively affected me from an emotional and you you know mental point of view .
Speaker 2Yeah , I get that . Now I really need to find one more thing . I think that I can plan , so that I can plan my joy .
Speaker 1I agree .
Speaker 2Because , you know , I do a lot of work , and even though one of my quote-unquote jobs I do love to do and it's something that I have a passion about , and so that does bring me joy , I still need to find something else outside of volleyball , um that I can play my joy around .
Speaker 1Thank you , babe yeah , definitely another thing I do like on my off day , on friday , I look forward to making a fresh cup of coffee and just going outside get some fresh air , get some sunlight on the gazebo , drinking my coffee and reading god's word . Once again , it's the little things and it's not about what you do necessarily . It's about intentionally creating the space for things that make your heart feel alive . So hear me , hear us and hear us . Well , I want to encourage you to discover or rediscover those things that make you smile . Discover and rediscover also those things that bring you joy . Then go add those things to your calendar and to your to-do list . Now for point number three , the spiritual side
The Spiritual Side of Joy
Speaker 1of joy . You want to take it a step deeper , a step further , because joy isn't just a psychological or emotional experience , it's a spiritual one as well .
Speaker 2Yes , yes , it is . Psalm 1611 says you make known to me the path of life . In your presence there is fullness of joy . At your right hand there are pleasures forevermore .
Speaker 1In your presence , there is the fullness of joy . I'm all about having fun , I'm all about planning fun activities and planning your joy . But at the end of the day , or at the very beginning of things , joy begins with the Lord .
Speaker 2Amen .
Speaker 1I just said that I knew I was going to say that . Yes , have fun . Yes , plan your joy , but true , lasting joy Comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ . You can plan the best day ever , have all of your favorites , but if you leave God out .
Speaker 2You want to experience real lasting joy so true , as joy is deeply connected to God's presence for For sure . It's not just about external circumstances , it's about internal posture of the heart . And here's a beautiful thing when we plan for joy , we actually are honoring the life of God , the life that God has given us . We're saying God , I see the beauty in what you've created and I'm going to pause and delight in it .
Speaker 1Amen . Ecclesiastes , chapter 3 , verses 12 through 13 . 13 reminds us of this . I perceive that nothing is better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live . Also , that everyone should eat , drink and take pleasure in his toil . This is god's gift to man . Did you catch that , my friend ? Joy is a gift from god and , like any gift , we're meant to receive it . Open it up and enjoy it , and not just leave it sitting on the shelf I wouldn't leave a person sitting around exactly .
Speaker 1So there's this joy that we're talking about . It's available to you , just gotta tap into it that's good .
Speaker 2That's good .
Speaker 1Point number four practical ways to plan your joy all right , we're going to break this down because we're not going to be here long , but we're going to break this down and
Practical Ways to Plan Joy
Speaker 1get practical . How do we actually plan our joy ? This would give you some examples from our personal lives , um that you could use later on .
Speaker 2So , once again , some actionable steps that you can start today yeah , and like paul said earlier , um , but let me say again , for further emphasis , put joy on the calendar . Calendar I'm gonna go again . Take two , like paul said before . Let me say it again for further emphasis Put joy on the calendar .
Speaker 1Yes .
Speaker 2Literally . Don't just think oh , I'll relax when I have time . Schedule it . Block out time for things that make you happy , whether it's a hobby , whether it's a coffee date or even just a quiet moment of reflection like that bubble bath , but block out the time yeah , man , I don't know who this is for , but , like , when was the last time you went on a date with your spouse ?
Speaker 1when was the last time you got away for maybe a weekend in a different city ? It was the last . Of course , you know , pay your bills and budget well , but when was the last time you treated yourself ? So you know ?
Speaker 2yeah know , yeah , that's good . That's good . Number two create a joy list .
Speaker 1Literally , grab a notebook or use your phone but jot down the things that bring you joy , the big things , the small things , the simple pleasures , and keep that list handy when life feels , you know , a bit overwhelming , like it will from time to time pull it out , pull this out , pick something to do bang yes what are some things that bring you joy ?
Speaker 1um outside of spending time with you I would say um . Things that bring me joy is definitely our date nights . We have a floating date night . Um depends on the week . It could be a Monday night , it could be a Sunday night . Recently we had some really good burgers , fries and shake from .
Speaker 2P Terry's .
Speaker 1Yes , it's a branch in Austin . It's a burger joint in Austin that moved down here , just opened up a new branch here in Houston . We enjoyed here , just opened up a new branch here in Houston and we enjoyed it . It was good , and that's one of the things that brought me joy this week . I already mentioned some of the other things that I planned throughout the week that brought me joy , of course , playing basketball and doing some couponing . And then another thing that brought me joy I put the treadmill right in front of the TV upstairs and I watch a basketball game . So therefore , put the treadmill right in front of the TV upstairs and I watch a basketball game . I watch a basketball game , so therefore I'm burning calories and I'm watching a sport that I love . So those are some things that brought me joy this week . What about you ?
Speaker 2Well , first and foremost , you know , past all the things that you have mentioned . You know our floating date night and spending time with you . Listen , ending the school year has brought me some joy . Now summer is here , thank the lord , I can relax I can sleep in .
Speaker 2Oh yeah , whoo , those things that you take for granted through the year . So that's one thing that has brought me joy . Um , also finding like new songs , new music , uh , brings me joy . Also , you know , being in the gym , volleyball , being able to teach and do private lessons , and everything like that where I'm able to actually like break things down .
Speaker 1That brings me joy as well . So , yeah , and I'm so glad that you have those things that bring you joy , because I believe that for those that are married , you should have things that bring you joy as a couple and some things that bring you joy as individuals . And what we just did is something I didn't call in the phrase , but somebody calling it as vent joy . A lot of times we vent about the things that are wrong , we vent about our complaints , but what about if we vent about our joy ? So maybe there's something that you can do with a group of friends or you can do with your spouse and you know , maybe weekly or monthly , you figure out the rhythm , but you just vent about the joy and just the things that bring you joy and I can almost guarantee you it's a mood booster and it really will lift your spirits . But for number three , as we're talking about joy in a practical way , you should plan joyful milestones .
Speaker 2Yes , you should give yourself things to look forward to regularly . Uh , it doesn't have to be a big event . Maybe it's just planning a monthly dinner with friends or a seasonal activity you love , or even a weekend getaway every few months because life is too short not to enjoy it to the fullest .
Speaker 1So make a big deal out of joy . Make a big deal out of life . Whether it's holidays , birthdays , anniversaries , your joy is worth it .
Speaker 1You are worth it . Maybe it could be once a quarter you take a trip to another city or you enjoy Once a quarter . Maybe you take a trip to another city and just enjoy the new scenery and enjoy some different foods . Luckily , we live in Houston , so we're close enough to visit Austin or Dallas or San Antonio , whether it's a day trip , maybe kind of stretching it , but at least an overnight trip , and so that's just some of the things that we do yep , yep , yep .
Speaker 1Number four celebrate small wins you do not have to wait for a major accomplishment before you celebrate yeah , finished a tough project .
Speaker 2Treat yourself to your favorite dessert . Made it through a challenging week Playing up on weekend activity .
Speaker 1Completed a year Of teaching and we're going to celebrate that . Babe , life is full of Small victories that are worth celebrating and , as I'm saying this out loud , like this month I'm recording this in May and we're going into June , but we published our 200th episode and have made it yeah , we celebrate that . We pause and celebrate that and have made it to our 5 year anniversary of this podcast ministry . So after this episode , we need to plan something fun so we can celebrate and commemorate this .
Speaker 1You can say that because
Finding Joy During Difficult Seasons
Speaker 1I feel like I'm talking a lot .
Speaker 2You can say here and I go here now to our final point of discussion , and that is joy in the midst of hardship yeah , I want to slow down a bit here before we conclude .
Speaker 1I know some of you may be thinking Paul Ariel , what if life is really hard right now ? How can I plan joy when I'm struggling ? And that's a valid question . And here's the truth . Joy does not ignore pain , but it can exist alongside it . Let's go to scripture .
Speaker 2Second , corinthians 4 , 16 through 18 says therefore , we do not lose heart , though hourly we are wasting away , yet in really we are being renewed day by day For our light , and monetary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all .
Speaker 1Amen . I'm going to let you read that over , because I heard that in your voice the whole time .
Speaker 2Take two 2 Corinthians 4 , 16 through 18 says Therefore , we do not lose heart , though outwardly we are wasting away , yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day For our light and monetary troubles are achieving Did .
Speaker 1I say achieving . I'm going to do take three . That's momentary , not monetary . I'm sorry , it's cool . Wait , what did it say ?
Speaker 2That's momentary not monetary .
Speaker 1I'm sorry , it's cool .
Speaker 2We almost there , wait , what did it say ?
Speaker 1It's momentary . I think you said monetary Like money .
Speaker 2Yeah , momentary , there you go . Our momentary troubles are achieving for us . Okay , take three . Second . Corinthians 4 , 16 through 18 says therefore , we do not lose heart , take four .
Speaker 1Thousand .
Speaker 2Stop . Second , corinthians 4 , 16 through 18 says therefore , we do not lose heart , though hourly we are wasting away , yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day For our light , and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all amen to the word of god amen now . Joy is a part of that renewal . It doesn't ease grief , stress or hardship , but it gives us a glimpse of hope from the top .
Speaker 1Oh it's okay , joy , it's okay joy .
Speaker 2Joy is a part of that renewal . It doesn't erase grief , stress or hardship , but it gives us a glimpse of hope . It's like a small candle flickering in the dark not enough to light up a whole room , but enough to remind us that darkness doesn't have to have the final word .
Speaker 1Ooh , that's good . Darkness does not have to have the final word . Even in difficult seasons , planning small moments of joy can be an act of defiance against despair . It's a way of saying that you know hard things are happening , but we won't let it steal our joy and won't let it steal our light . As the saying goes like um the world didn't give you the joy , the devil didn't give you the joy . So don't let the world take it away and don't let the devil take it away , amen . And if we're being honest , I mean we're coming out of a difficult season ourselves . I mean , yes , if it was to rewind back to February , my wife broke her knee .
Speaker 2I did , riding on an electric scooter . I was downtown in Austin . I guess I'll tell y'all the story . Might as well , we family here I was downtown Austin for a volleyball tournament . It was day two of our volleyball tournament . We played in the afternoon this day , so I woke up and I decided I was going to go get me some coffee . Now , mind you , no matter where we go , where we travel to , if we're downtown and there are scooters I'm on one , that's like my mode of transportation .
Speaker 1She loves it .
Speaker 2Always , always , always , always my mode of transportation . So I'll go to Starbucksbucks , give me some coffee and then , on my way back to the convention center , somebody pulls off in front of me , walking . Mind , you walked in front of me while I was in the bike lane , uh , riding my scooter , um and so , in order for me not to hit them , I pressed the brake . When I pressed the brake , the handlebars turned to the right . When they turned , it kind of stopped . The scooter threw me off and I guess I landed on my kneecap . I mean , I guess I can stop guessing .
Speaker 1I did land on my kneecap , literally , and we got proof and x-rays to prove it .
Speaker 2Yeah , definitely got the proof to prove it . I don't remember falling directly on my knee , but the doctor said that's the only way I could have broken my kneecap is if I put , if I would have fell with all my weight on my knee . So I was trying to stop myself from falling and end up falling anyways , did a couple rows , laughed it off , got back up , drove off on my scooter and didn't think anything of it until I tried to start walking and bending my knee and I couldn't really do that .
Speaker 2So I was down and out for a while now . I just got released , maybe a week or two ago , that my fracture was fully healed .
Speaker 1Praise the Lord .
Speaker 2Yes , amen , I still have two screws in there , but the fracture itself is fully healed and I still got to get my quad back strengthened , and so I'm not back 100% yet , but I will be back at some point .
Speaker 1Exactly , and we tried to make the most of this season . I was her Uber driver , taking her to work and picking her up and bringing her home . I was underpaid , but here we are .
Speaker 1Not just why I was overpaid with your love , honey , and we just utilized that time as we're commuting together . We're like , what other time in our lives are we going to be in the same car going to work , especially when you live in a big city like Houston . We work on opposite sides of town and grateful for a job that allowed me that space where I can come in early . I don't want them to know my business . So we just made the most . Like I said , we made the most of the time where we would listen to music together , we would pray together , she would read a devotional and I respond to it , and so we still planned our joy . It looked a bit different . It looked very different .
Speaker 1We couldn't go to you know the normal places like Main Event , or couldn't even go to a basketball game Because you're going to bend your knee and different things like that . But we made the most out of that season . Once again , we used our commutes for devotion , for prayer , tried new restaurants , take out , brought it home and tried it .
Speaker 1Here's the point . We really want you to be more intentional Once again . Life is too short not to enjoy . Maximize whatever current season that you are in . Take the time to plan your joy and your mental health . Your emotional health will be glad that you did .
Speaker 2Amen .
Challenge and Summer Break
Speaker 2So here's our challenge for you today . What's one thing you can plan right now that will bring you joy ? Not tomorrow , not next week ?
Speaker 1today oh yeah , we're giving you homework , and it could be as simple as calling someone you love or it could be taking a walk and just noticing , like five beautiful things enjoying the air , enjoying the sunlight , enjoying the scenery getting your nails or your toes done okay , manly , pity it could be grabbing a scoop of your favorite ice cream on the way home from work .
Speaker 1But whatever it is , make it happen . My friend . And here's the key Don't wait for joy to find you . Go after it , plan it , pursue it , prioritize it , because life isn't about surviving , it's about thriving . And , with that being said , we are in the midst of planning our joy and planning a fun summer , as my wife will have a break from school , and so we're going to be really intentional with that time . And , with that being said , the podcast is going on a summer break and we're going to use this time to have fun , we're going to plan our joy , we're going to rest , we're going to relax , but I want to also just sharpen the saw , so to speak , so I'm just going to keep reading , keep growing , so I can bring you the best content , um in the fall , um , but don't worry , you have over 200 episodes to go back and listen to .
Speaker 2Yes , so we ask that you keep listening and sharing and , as always , thank you so much for tuning in today .
Speaker 1For sure , and we hope that you have a blessed day and we hope that you take the time to plan your joy , because joy isn't a reward for when life is perfect , because joy is actually a gift for you to enjoy right now . But until next time , that's enough of us yapping . You want you to go . Be all that god has called you to be and we out you .